goals

I want to become more of a pretentious bastard than I already am. I plan on doing the following to accomplish this:

1. Wear a fedora with an ace of spades tucked haphazardly in the brim. Not only does this scream P.B., but it also bellows sleazeball.

2. Enrolling in entry level biology classes for non biology majors (I'm 3 classes away from a biology degree). This way, I'll be that kid who always knows the answers and makes everyone else feel like incompetent fools.

3. Ordering the most expensive wine at a restaurant and then after sampling it, extolling the inadequacy of the wine and threaten to never come back to the restaurant in question. This is kinda a slap to the face to the waiter and wine connosieurs are definately P.B.

4. Attending a religious ceremony and smoking Dunhills while using a holy water fountain as an ash tray. If I take communion, I must ask the priest if the bread used in the host is organic.

5. Wearing motoring gloves while driving a yellow Saab 30 miles over the speed limit. Bjork and or Air will be played at full blast while motoring. Notice I say motoring and not driving. There's a difference.


....more to come.