To Kill a Mocking Bird
So there's this tree outside my window, and apparently some bird (a finch of some sort) has taken up residence there. The problem with this particular bird is that it will fly into my window.....about every 10 seconds....sometimes for 20 minutes at a time.....often at 5 in the morning. First of all, my blinds are usually closed, so it's not like the thing is trying to fly "through" the window. Unless the thing is blind, there's an obvious visual barrier preventing him from flying "in". I finally opened my blinds to see what hell is going on and it hovers there and pecks at the window all while looking at me like I'm some fool. So there are several possiblities; 1. The bird is just that fucking stupid. 2. The bird is evil and is trying to prevent me from sleeping. 3. The bird has some sort of motive to slowly drive me insane. Any suggestions on how to deal with a belligerent bird?
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2 comments:
You have two options:
A.) Turn the Clone Army loose on it, with the following orders: "DO WHAT MUST BE DONE."
B.) Dress in Batman suit and climb to said bird's place of residence. Next, grab said bird by the throat and say, "DO I LOOK LIKE A COP?" or even "I'M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO SAVE YOU."
Talk to the bird, knock on his door at the worst possible time and ask him if his soul is prepared for the End Time ... offer to come into his nest and talk for three hours about salvation, ask again and again .... also, be sure to ask for a donation to fund your ongoing mission
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